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开场白、正文、结尾 开场白 正文 2——6段 开学头一天老师陪我等父母来接 运动会我摔跤老师同学照顾我 家长会上我胆怯了老师用目光鼓励我 原因 好处 具体方法 称呼 建议内容 具体办法 署名 日期
不知道
我也不是高手 所以润色我就不敢献丑了 就说一点我的看法刚看开头我被感动了，但最后那些人物的对白让这些刻意营造的肃穆氛围打了折或许可以从这边改一下吧希望你可以快点找到能帮你润稿的高人 也希望你的演讲比赛顺利
文采很不错，
文采很不错，
第一段和第二段调整下顺序。另外，语气调整下，演讲要口语化些，符合你自己的语言习惯才好。多用拍比句。结尾修改下，最好用3个排比句，这样在演讲结束的时候可以比较容易的把情绪推向高潮。简单看了眼，供参考。
用 比较级的吗？
My favorite movie is Everybody’s It told us a story about a father travelled between different cities in the USA to see his The old man lived in the countryside and his children lived in different His wife has gone, so he missed his children very Every weekend he called his children to come home to eat dinner together, and they all So the old man cooked the dinner very carefully every But every weekend, his children all canceled on him at the last Every weekend at last, he had to have the delicious food One day, he decided, although all of his children didn’t show up for a visit, he would go to visit He tidied his travelling bag and started the First, he went to the youngest son’s home, his name is D He waited in front of the door for a long time but his son didn’t come So he left a letter and started the trip of meeting his other On the way near David’s home, he found some pictures drawn by D He was happy and he thought David has become an Then the old father went to meet the other They were in different cities, they had different works and they also had their own happinesses and sadnesses When the old father asked his children Are you happy? Their answers are surprisingly identical: they were very fine and But the old father discovered something not very good: Amy told the old father that Jack was a good student in the school but he found that was not However, at the airport, Amy said that she was And the old father said ‘A happy First one on my ’Robert told his father that he was a conductor in a orchestra, but the old father found Robert was just a The old father was anger but Robert also said that he was really Anyway, the old father was happy because Robert was fine, Then, the old father went to see his daughter R He noticed that Rosie rent a very impressive apartment and became an unmarried About everything the old father found and thought, the children told a lot of lies to cheat The old father was not very So, the old man wanted to go But on his way home, his heart disease attackedse all at After heard the bad news, Frank’s children went to the hospital as fast as they When frank was rescued, he saw his children arond him exceupt D Then, he knew David has been in the He accepted the At the end of the film, Frank was having Christmas dinner with Rosie, Robert and A Frank said: Everybody’s I love this It didn’t have any special spectacle, but it also moved us a lot, because it had a lot of family‘s 细节处改了一下，总体来说写的还行
SToday, we are gathered here, with excellent results obtained in the examination exemption preferential share of the province's most advanced superior teaching resources, but lost behind seemingly comfortable life, a huge competition and frustration caused also once lead us Are you waking up in the morning, in front of unknown prospect would fearful? Are you in a crowded classroom, weird smells lift the red pen to fill a vacant tract problems? Are you in the dusk of the moment, only watched the mountains of the job as a scourge can not parry? Have you ever, facing the plummeting test scores and an increasing rankings and deep remorse? You said you were a leader in the school, the students look up the peak, and now you are standing in the endless plateau, drowned You say you have not tasted the taste of defeat, and now you are buried in the undulating crowd, no dazzling score, no superior ability to ingratiate themselves with few or no TAnd now I'm the same as an ordinary Zhisheng Ban's one that I hope to encourage everyone in this speech, but also encouraged my own failure to continue groping in the darkness I praised without sounding "Failure is the mother of success," failure is a cause of pain and pleasure in the process, because the process is a tired fall But the pain today, maybe tomorrow's brilliant for you paved a new Famous French science fiction writer Jules Verne, a fifteen Press contributor repeated failures, will be accepted until the sixteenth; American writer Jack London thwarted at every turn, so he had to buckle down to hard labor; famous Danish fairy tale Anderson family, because his son was born shoemaker was attacked, "do not understand the " And after many years of testing and screening millions of people, who can deny that, "Haideliangmoli," "Tales of the North" or "The Little Mermaid"? Failure can only defeat the weak morale, but not strong polished edges, even if you were to fail at this moment suffering, black and blue in the fierce competition, brutal panning in all of this, it can not hinder the pace of progress of a monk I would like to share with you the "Harry Potter" author JK Rowling's series of novels, stories, she graduated from college in just seven years after the time she reached the epic failure of an unprecedented scale: short-lived marriage Lightning camel rupture, she became a tough unemployed single mother, in addition to the tramp, she became one of the poorest people in contemporary Britain, however, is such that she had nothing, with a rich imagination, excellence and dedication text beliefs, breaking the plight of In a speech at Harvard University in 2008, she told all graduates receive wisdom from setbacks, be strong, which means you survive more than ever have the We should feel lucky that our students are also sitting in a classroom when the smell of sweat smell tense prepare, we have upgraded to a new piece in this learning journey, even though this road is full of catch-me, full of bitter defeat, we should also be out of the confusion, confidence, growth in the long road of FIn this time, I appeal to every student here, face failure, face setbacks, thanks to our experienced ups and downs, we also wish to depict beautiful blueprint high school life together
Love in the shining summer Ladies and Gentlemen! We are glad to be here, giving a speech about love in the shining I bet that when you see the tittle at the first sight, it's easy to regard the love as valentines' and you will begin the imagination for sweet expectations of the Actually that is only one kind of What I want to say is the other three kinds of love-to parents, to friends and also to In daily life, we ought to pay more attention to different love and try to spread it to everyone around If you can do as I suggested, your life will certainly be different this Firstly, love to parents seems to be We have found that many of us have generation gaps with And as a result with depression, usually we neglect their loneliness inside the As children in China, we seldom express our love to them, and maybe feel artificial and shy to express our Why don’t you change yourself in this shining summer? Just a phone call or a long letter is Try to spare more time with them for communication and Moreover, say"I love you"more often and directly to I’m sure when they get the love sign from you, they will smile with Secondly, love to your friends makes your life as sweet as When we meet psychological problems, most of us keep them in mind, not willingly to tell our But we often turn to our good friends to share our happiness and Being with friends is just like looking into the It reflects what kind of person you Whenever we smile or cry, they support us and will never leave us But have you ever said "thank you"? Have you ever express your love to them? Of course So why don’t you change yourself in this shining summer? Love your friends, respect your friends and accept their If you do as I suggested, you will surely be much happier than Last but not least, even strangers need With the development of our society, most of people become more and more We don't want to get any trouble by helping others or even talking with But who can help us if we meet some emergent problem, if everyone only care about himself? Absolutely Then, why not change yourself in this shining summer? Let's concern for others if they need Don't be stingy to give strangers You will certainly get reward sooner or later if you keep ready to help Mo-tse, a famous ancient scholar, advocated us to have "big love" In his opinion, we should fill the world with pure However, I still need to say, listen carefully to me, if you want to gain love from others, you have to love people around you When they give you their love in return for your love, such a reward will inspire you to love And if everyone behave like this, what a wonderful world it will be!Ladies and gentlemen，please close your eyes to feel love, it's in the air and it's That's all, thank you for 我帮你修改了，你的用语当中有许多中国式的语言，所以我帮你改掉，尽量不要显得太洋泾浜。 这么辛苦，强烈要求加分。呵呵再次作了修改，只能这样了。