匆匆
朱自清
燕子去了,有再来的时候;杨柳枯了,在再青的时候;桃花谢了,有再开的时候1。但是,聪明的,你告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?——是有人偷了他们罢:那是谁?又藏在何处呢?是他们自己逃走了罢:现在又到了那里呢2?
我不知道他们给了我多少日子3;但我的手确乎是渐渐空虚了4。在默默里算着,八千多日子已经从我手中溜去5;像针尖上一滴水滴在大海里,我的日子滴在时间的流里,没有声音,也没有影子。我不禁头涔涔而泪潸潸了6。
去的尽管去了,来的尽管来着;去来的中间,又怎样地匆匆呢?早上我起来的时候,小屋里射进两三方7斜斜的太阳。太阳他也有脚啊,轻轻悄悄地挪移8了;我也茫茫然跟着旋转。于是——洗手的时候,日子从水盆里过去;吃饭的时候,日子从饭碗里过去;默默时,便从凝然的双眼前过去。我觉察他去的匆匆了,伸出手遮挽时,他又从遮挽着的手边过去,天黑时,我躺在床上,他便伶伶俐俐在从我身上跨过,从我脚边飞去了。等我睁开眼和太阳再见,这算又溜走了一日。我掩着面叹息。但是新来的日子的影儿又开始在叹息里闪过了。
在逃去如飞的日子里,在千门万户的世界里的我能做些什么呢?只有徘徊罢了,只有匆匆罢了;在八千多日的匆匆里,除徘徊外,又剩些什么呢?过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了,如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了;我留着些什么痕迹呢?我何曾留着像游丝样的痕迹呢?我赤裸裸来到这世界,转眼间也将赤裸裸的回去罢?但不能平的9,为什
么偏要白白走这一遭啊?
你聪明的,告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?
Transient Days
Zhu ziqing
If swallows go away, they will come back again. If willows wither, they will turn green again. If peach blossoms fade, they will flower again. But, tell me, you the wise, why should our days go by never to return? Perhaps they have been stolen by someone. But who could it be and where could he hide them? Perhaps they have just run away by themselves. But where could they be at the present moment?
I don’t know how many days I am entitled to altogether, but my quota of then is undoubtedly wearing away. Counting up silently, I find that more than 8000 days have already slipped away through my fingers. Like a drop of water falling off a needle point into the ocean, my days are quietly dripping into the stream of time without leaving a trace. At the thought of this, sweat oozes from my forehead and tears trickle down my cheeks.
What is gone is gone, what is to come keeps coming. How swift is the transition in between! When I get up in the morning, the slanting sun casts two or three squarish patches of light into my small room. The sun has feet too, edging away softly and stealthily. And, without knowing it, I am already caught in its revolution. Thus the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands; vanishes in the rice bowl when I have my meal; passes away quietly before the fixed gaze of my eyes when I am lost in reverie.
Aware of its fleeting presence, I reach out for it only to find it brushing past my outstretched hands. In the evening, when I lie on my bed, it nimbly strides over my body and flits past my feet. By the time when I open my eyes to meet the sun again, another day is already gone. I heave a sigh, my head buried in my hands. But, in the midst of my sighs, a new day is flashing past.
Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions, what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life? What have I been doing during the 8000 fleeting days except wavering and wandering? The bygone days, like wisps of smoke, have been dispersed by gentle winds, and, like thin mists, have been evaporated by the rising sun. What traces have I left behind? No, nothing, not even gossamer-like traces. I have come to this world stark naked, and in the twinkling of an eye, I am to go back as stark naked as ever. However, I am taking it very much to heart: why should I be made to pass through this world for nothing at all?
O you the wise, would you tell me please: why should our days go by never to return?
注释:
本文是朱自清的早期散文,写于1922年7月28日。文章充满诗意,对时光的消失深表感叹和无奈,流露出当时青年知识分子的苦闷和忧伤情绪。
(1) 原文开头三个句子结构类似,译文采用三个相应的句式,力求形似。同时,每句均以if从句为首,使人想起英国诗人雪莱(Shelley)的名句If Winter comes, can Spring be far away,有助于烘托原文的韵味。
(2) “现在又到了那里呢”译为But where could they be at the present moment,其中at the present moment等于now,也可用at the moment或at the moment in time等表达。
(3) “我不知道他们给了我多少日子”译为I don’t know how many days I am entitled to altogether,其中entitled to相当于qualified for,作“能有……”或“有权得到……”解。此句也可译为I don’t know how many days been given to live。
(4) “但我的手确乎是渐渐空虚了”不宜逐字直译,现以意译法处理:but my quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away,其中quota of them的意思是“一定数额的日子”,也即“寿命的预期数额”。也可用my allotted span 代替my quota of them。
(5) “八千多日子已经从我手中溜去”译为more than 8000 days have already slipped away through my fingers,其中to slip away through one’s fingers是英语习语。
(6) “我不禁头涔涔而泪潸潸了”的译文中添加了At the thought of this(一想到这儿),承上启下,原文虽无其字而有其意。
(7) “两三方”译为two and three squarish patches,其中squarish的意思是“似方形的”比square模糊些,似较可取。
(8) “挪移”在此有“慢慢离开”的含义,现以英语短语动词(phrasal verb) to edge away表达。注意原文第三段中若干表示动作的词语在译文中均挑选恰当的英语短语动词表达,效果较好。如:“从……(双眼前)过去”译为to pass away before…;“伸出手遮挽……”译为to reach out for…;“从……(手边)过去”译为to brush past…;“从……(身上)跨过”译为to stride over…; “从……(脚边)飞去了”译为to flit past…;“闪过去了”译为to flash past。
(9) “不能平的”意即“为之耿耿于怀”或“为之想不开”,现译为Iam taking it very much to heart,其中to take…to heart是英语成语,作“为……烦恼”或“为……想不开”解。
散文最后一圈英译赏析
马拉松赛跑是考验人的意志和力量的竞技运动。最后一圈是拼搏的时刻。第一个到达终点的优胜者,迎来阵阵掌声和热烈欢呼,屏幕上闪耀着他创造的记录。下面是我分享的张培基英译散文赏析之《最后一圈 》,欢迎大家阅读!
最后一圈
The Last Lap
何为
He Wei
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》
70年代后期,收阅萧乾同志的一封信,他说“要跑好人生的最后一圈”。当时怦然有所触动,一直记得这句话。年前读他的《八十自省》一文,自谓“这一圈跑了大半,离终点不会太远了”。更是令人感慨万千,不胜惆怅。算一下他的最后一圈,长达十余年,很长,也很有成绩,殊堪庆幸。以他的坚毅顽强和旷达,其“终点”线设在21世纪,是完全可预期的。
Back in the late 1970s, I received a letter from Xiao Qian (1), in which he said, “I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.” I was deeply touched and have remembered his words to this day. Last year, when I read his I’m an Octogenarian, in which he said, “Having covered more than half of this lap, I’m now close to the finishing line,” I was even more touched and seized with a feeling of sadness. To my great delight, however, his last lap, having lasted, as I figure out, for more than a decade now, is very long and fruitful. Judging by his strong will and broad-mindedness, the finishing line should undoubtedly be somewhere in the coming 21st century.
要点:
1,“萧乾”是名人,适当备注有助于读者的理解,所以采用加脚注的方法
2,“要跑好人生的最后一圈”译为I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.译者采用反面叙述的方法,其中slacken off 作“松劲”,“懈怠”讲。此句也可从正面译为I should make a success of this last lap of my life.
3,“《八十自省》”译为I’m an Octogenarian,其中Octogenarian意为“八旬老人”,书中还给出另一种译法,为I’ve Completed My 80th Birthday.
4,“感慨万千,不胜惆怅”中的“感慨万千”意即“感触颇深”译为I was even more touched,“不胜惆怅”即“十分伤感”译为(be)seized with a feeling of sadness.
综述:何为的作品一般简洁明了,语言锤炼,感情真切,自然流露,翻译时切记“假大空”。
从人生道路上的最后一圈,想到马拉松超长距赛跑。古希腊人在马拉松地方战胜敌军,一名士兵为了迅速传递捷报,一鼓作气跑毕四万二千一百九十五米的路程,到了雅典后就力竭死去。他带去胜利的信息,他又是长途跋涉的胜利者,后人将这一距离的竞赛项目称为马拉松赛跑,作为纪念。
Meanwhile, the last lap of human life has reminded me of the marathon race. According to legend, when the ancient Greeks defeated the invaders at Marathon (2), a Greek soldier is believed to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, to announce the Athenian victory at the battlefield. Unfortunately, after making the announcement, he dropped dead from exhaustion. He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier.
要点:
1,“古希腊人在马拉松地方战胜敌军……”是一个传说,因此增译According to legend,下文增译“is believed to”也一样,同legend相呼应。
2,“一鼓作气跑毕四万二千一百九十五米的路程,到了雅典…”转化说法,即“他一鼓作气从战场跑回了雅典,全程…米”译为to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, 这样比较符合英语行文的习惯,“一鼓作气”即“没有停顿”译为nonstop。
3,“他带去胜利的信息,他又是长途跋涉的胜利者,后人将这一距离的`竞赛项目称为马拉松赛跑,作为纪念。”采用分译法,译为He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier. 其中“作为纪念”意即“纪念该希腊士兵的传奇功绩”,故译为to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier。
综述:本段有两个大长句,注意译者是如何将其拆分组合形成符合英语行文习惯的句子。
马拉松赛跑是考验人的意志和力量的竞技运动。长跑者在同一起跑线出发。一眼望不到尽头的跑道上,强者与弱者的差距逐渐拉开。最后一圈是拼搏的时刻。第一个到达终点的优胜者,迎来阵阵掌声和热烈欢呼,屏幕上闪耀着他创造的记录。
The marathon race is a sports event testing man’s endurance and strength. Runners start from the same starting line and on the seemingly endless track the gap gradually widens between the strong and the weak. The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success. The first to reach the finishing line is showered with warm applause and acclamation while the new record he or she has created is flashing across the screen.
要点:
1,“人的意志”即“人的耐力”不宜译为willpower,可译为man’s endurance
2,“一眼望不到尽头的”=seemingly endless
3,“最后一圈是拼搏的时刻”即“最后一圈是长跑者们鼓足干劲夺取胜利的时刻”,译为The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success,go all out 意为“鼓足干劲,锐意进取”也可用exert oneself to
综述:“最后一圈是拼搏的时刻。第一个到达终点的优胜者,迎来阵阵掌声和热烈欢呼,屏幕上闪耀着他创造的记录。”注意最后一句的主语与前面的不同,要进行转换。
然而,跑道上也有这样的场面:拖着疲惫不堪的双腿,苦苦挣扎着,摇摇欲坠几乎昏厥的身子,终于奋力冲过封锁线,那是多么激动人心的时刻!纵或是最后一名,也是一位胜利者,同样赢得热情的鼓励和赞许的掌声。人们为长跑者坚忍不拔的精神深深感动了。
Nevertheless, we also see this moving scene: An exhausted runner, dragging a pair of weary feet and staggering as though about to fall into a faint, barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle. Oh, what a stirring moment! He may be the last, yet he is also a winner. He likewise deserves spectators’ warm encouragement and approving applause. People are deeply moved by his tenacity.
要点:
1,“拖着疲惫不堪的双腿,苦苦挣扎着,摇摇欲坠几乎昏厥的身子,终于奋力冲过封锁线……”首先要增主语An exhausted runner,其次要看句子间的关系,即“长跑者拖着双腿和身子苦苦挣扎后终于通过了终点”,译者将其译为barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle(很少有人在苦苦挣扎后能够坚持到最后),突出了跑者的艰辛。
人的一生好比马拉松赛跑。人人都有最后一圈,这一圈通常属于人生道路漫长的老人。七老八十的人,穿过艰难的世途,穿过芸芸众生,穿过重重障碍,于是到了人生的最后一圈。
Human life can be likened to the marathon race. All people, especially the aged who have already seen much of life, have the last lap. Septuagenarians and octogenarians are on the last lap of their lives after experiencing the twists and turns of life’s journey, meeting human beings of all descriptions and going through one obstacle after another.
要点:
1,“七老八十的人”译为Septuagenarians and octogenarians。
2,“艰难的世途”译为the twists and turns of life’s journey,twists and turns 通常做“曲折变化”“艰难”讲,是翻译中的常用词。
3,“芸芸众生”即“众人,各种各样的人”译为human beings of all descriptions。
4,“重重障碍”即one obstacle after another。
这一圈路程有长有短,跑得有快有慢。有的人稳健有力,从容不迫;有的人歪歪扭扭,步子不正;有的人拖拖沓沓,蹒跚不前。也有跑入歪道的人,或跑不快还要挡道的人,或不按竞赛规则乱跑的人,都是注定要失败的。谁能跑好这最后一圈,谁就是胜利者。
The last lap may be long or short; the runners may be fast or slow. Some may run with firm and steady steps and self-possession; some may run very unsteadily and out of step; some may be sluggish with faltering steps. What is worse, some may resort to dishonest practices; some, being slow themselves, may purposely stand in the way of others; some may run without adhering to the rules of the competition. Such people are doomed to acquits himself well on the last lap is a winner.
要点:
1,“从容不迫”= self-possession(沉着冷静)
out of step意即“步子不协调”
2,“有的人拖拖沓沓,蹒跚不前”即“有的人步伐不稳拖拖拉拉”译为some may be sluggish with faltering steps
3,“跑入歪道的人”即“从事不法或不道德的事情的”译为resort to dishonest practices
4,acquits oneself well 意为“表现好”如Indeed, Celtic have shown more than once they are able to acquit themselves very well, just as their fans who always help them a lot.当然,凯尔特人队已经不止一次展示了他们自己的实力,就像他们的球迷那天,帮助他们很多。
综述:这两段主要就是四字词的理解和翻译,注意有些四字词虽然中文形式上并列,但其意思并不是并列的,翻译时要照顾意思,小词的使用也值得注意,对于这类情感真挚,突出细节的文章,小词的使用是必不可少的。
(1) Xiao Qian (1910-1999), famous writer, journalist and translator of literary works.
(2) Marathon, Village of ancient Greece, on the east coast of Attica, some 25 miles northeast of Athens.
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